Reversal of Fortune

I have to relay a very interesting story about some things that took place early this week. As you may or may not know, I'm STILL working my contract days in Mayberry. Some genius thought it would be great to make sure all campus offices were open all summer...which basically means that those of us working an 11-month contract had our vacation time broken up so that you end up doing two weeks on and then two weeks off all summer. Anywho, when I got to work on Monday, I received a brief email from the Sheriff's secretary which summoned me to a meeting in his office later that day. CCed in the email was the name of one of the Asst. Big Bosses, so I must admit my fertile imagination began to conjure all types of scenarios as to why this meeting was taking place. 

When my boss, Big C, came in later that morning, she looked a little off. I thought it might be related to the less than stellar test scores we had received back that morning. I asked her if she knew why I was summoned over to Alliance headquarters, and I received a curt, "I was told not to talk about it, " in response. Now this is when I really started to worry about my continued employment.  Don't get me wrong, I have done excellent work in Mayberry. I'm relatively well-known and liked  around the district. However, I have seen 5 people unceremoniously shown the door in Mayberry since the new Sheriff took over. Without any elaboration as to the context of this meeting and Big C slapped with a gag order, I admit I was starting to sweat a little. For 3 agonizing hours I wrung my hands over what I could have possibly done to get terminated. Did they find out I'd violated the acceptable use of technology policy when I blogged that one time from work? Did I forget to sign something that had resulted in a lawsuit against the district? Had I managed to fly so far under the radar that he thought I was just coasting along without doing any real work? Had (God forbid) there been some kind of accusation been made against me of inappropriate conduct? Time just ticked by painfully slowly, and I was thinking up all sorts of horrible outcomes. You can imagine how I worked myself into a fucking lather waiting for this mystery meeting!

Now cut to me arriving at Alliance headquarters for the ill-fated get together. I was shown to the Sheriff's office where I found not only him, but the Asst. Big Boss AND the HR Director! I thought, " Holy shit! The HR Director?  I'm SO getting fired!" Somehow, I remained outwardly calm and stumbled to the chair I was offered. Here's a transcript of the initial few minutes of the conversation:

Sheriff: Sassy, thank you for coming. 

Me: Mmm hmm...no problem. 

Sheriff: Well, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you here on such short notice.

Me: Yes sir! Umm, are you going to fire me?

Sheriff: Of course not! (much hearty laughter followed) I asked you here along with Asst. Big Boss because we want to ask for your help. We have a need in the district that we feel you are the only person that can help us. 

Me: Okay...

Sheriff: Sassy, I'd like to offer you the position of Head of Important Other Programs.* 

Me: I'm sorry, what? You aren't going to fire me? 

Sheriff: Oh no! I'm offering you a promotion. What questions do you have for me?

After I regained consciousness, I asked several pointed questions, and the Sheriff and Asst, Big Boss began to gush about me, my skills, my job performance, and how they had spent weeks interviewing outside candidates that they just didn't feel would be the best fit for the position. I then asked why me for this position. What followed was another gush of compliments about how they had decided to look at people already in district and that my name came up over and over.  I thanked them, and then I asked another very direct question: "In my experience, this kind of position is where districts often dump the mediocre or assign people whom they hope will quit because they don't really want to have to fire them. This isn't the case here, is it? Because if so, I can say with confidence that I have done an excellent job, am far from mediocre, and if you wanted me to leave, you'd just have to ask. " His reply, "Sassy, if I thought along those lines, I'd just terminate your employment here. Surely you know by now that I don't tolerate mediocrity? And with someone of your caliber in this position, we hope to eliminate that perception and get the various programs up to snuff. I , well we feel that you are the best person for the job." 

After I regained consciousness a second time, I accepted, thanked him for the confidence in me, and was ushered off to the HR Director's office to discuss the benefits of said promotion. Along with some added status, and a newer, bigger office, the position comes with an big ole pay raise! HOLY SHIT!!!! Do you think they read my blog?? 

So there you have it! I got a promotion! And a big raise! Yay ME! Although I'm very sad to leave  my current campus, I'm extremely excited about the possibilities and the broader experience my new job has to offer. Although the next two weeks will be extremely busy for me with my residence move and now setting up a new office, I just want to say THANKS to all of you for your support and encouragement. I heart you guys...

XOXOXOXOXO

*Name changed to make sure I can't be searched and fired! :)