Tuesday, December 09, 2008

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Whew! Have I been busy or what? Damn! You guys doing okay? Well, I've shamefully fallen behind on my blogging, both reading and writing. But in my defense, the last 6 weeks before school lets out for the Winter Break are brutal. So here's a quick catch up:

1. My trip to the Rockies: Once again, Denver never disappoints. I spent a week with my BFF and her family enjoying the crisp, clean Colorado air and even some snow! Woo hoo! I fucking love snow! We did our usual night before Thanksgiving club appearance, but this time my pants were much better behaved than last time. I didn't get any messages from my sister or friends saying that my pants dialed them or texted them. I guess the new phone helped with that. The Crackberry was terribly prolific without encouragement, but my Blackjack is very well behaved.

Of course, I did meet many drunken strangers, one of which who insisted on buying us girls Patron shots everytime we saw him at the bar. Tequila is so foul-tasting that I wonder how the shit ever sells in shot form. When people tell me that there is a difference between Patron and Cuervo, I wonder what the hell they are really talking about. I mean, straight tequila tastes like shit. Shit is always shit, regardless of what kind of label you stick on it. No good drunken stories this time...damn, I must really be getting old!

2. Job-hunting yet again: I've been applying for several jobs all over the country, both through my recruiter and a new agency. Surely someone will think I'm worth hiring out of this one-horse town. I am actually going to Memphis for an initial interview with a school on Friday. Not sure if I really want it, but hey, if they want to fly me out there, I'm game. I also applied for a job at the Mayberry High School. It's more money and good experience. I will get the courtesy interview, but I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting this job. I mean, if they actually did hire me, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass might actually have to admit that I'm superior to them in every way. Like that's really going to happen in a assbackwards place like Mayberry...

3. Insomnia: I had a streak of sleepless nights going a few weeks ago that lasted a personal best 6 days with no sleep. I finally got my Lunesta scrip and slept 36 hours straight. The pups sure made me pay for that. Insomnia sucks ass...as does the stress that causes it. As are the people who cause the stress that cause me to become a zombie from my insomnia. Fuckers!

4. Christmas: I LOVE Christmas! Seriously, it's my most favorite time of the year. I love to see all the decorations and Christmas cards and giftwrap. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and lovey dovey. Plus, I shop year round for gifts, so I never have to worry about dealing with the idiot last minute shoppers who mow each other down on Black Friday. I can't believe people trampled some poor lady at a store in NY and then actually got pissed that the store managers and employees made them wait so that they could allow the proper officials to remove the DEAD BODY blocking their entry. WTF?? Listen, if you bitches are so desperate for a good deal on a flat screen or Xbox 360 that you would kill someone else without any regard, you got bigger problems than an old tv. God sees that shit, you know...and karma is a bitch too.

5. Dating: I'm "casually" seeing Roach Clip, but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. I mean, he just doesn't understand my addictions to Facebook, my car concerts, or my desperation to get the hell out of Texas. AND he doesn't watch my tv shows. That's a problem, especially since Lost is coming back soon. Plus, I don't think he has much respect for my love of shoes and handbags.

6. Interesting story: I am getting over a pretty bad cold. Actually, I'm almost completely well. However, the Control Freak on my staff was complaining that I should wear one of those masks while at work so that I didn't "expose everyone to my germs." Now what I really wanted to say was that since I was "exposed" to her dumbass shit everyday, it was almost even. What I did say was, "Well CF, how about I get you a mask if you are that worried about it?" She agreed that would be very considerate of me. The next day I brought in an old Monica Lewinsky halloween mask and presented it to her. I wonder if she got the message that I think she sucks?

7. I got this heartwarming Christmas story via email from the Bubbly Brunette today. May you enjoy it as much as I did:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

That's all I got...I'll catch up on the more interesting ramblings soon.