Wednesday, March 30, 2011

If I Was Getting This Much Action, I'd Be In A Much Better Mood

It's March...almost April, people! Where the hell has the time gone? Here's where:

1. The first semester of this term has flown by with countless aggravations. I'm worried that my promotion is really an experiment in sleep deprivation, stress management, and bullshit tolerance.

2. We are getting ready to move into a new facility, and I've just about decided that it could be years before I ever see a real summer vacation again.

3. Although I should be past expecting adults to act like, oh I don't know...ADULTS, it appears that after 40 yrs on the planet I've maintained way too much of my naivete. I've managed to piss off most everyone because I have these outdated expectation that people do their jobs, talk nicely to the youngsters in their care, and speak respectfully to their bosses. I know...crazy huh?

4. I live for one moment of peace. Just one.

5. I've given up red meat for Lent. Since I am a picky eater, I'm thinking this might be how I lose some weight because vegetarian fare is, in a word, disgusting.

6. I've been called a racist, a bitch, and accused of countless other crimes. It's amazing I'm allowed to walk around free, isn't it?

7. Some of the hilarious and seriously idiotic rumors going around about me: I'm evidently sleeping with just about every male I'm seen with at work; instead of being away at training, I got a boob job; I hired my new black assistant principal only because I'm sleeping with him AND he didn't speak ebonics in the interview; I hate religious people because I'm an atheist; the degrees hanging in my office were bought on the internet; I'm most likely pregnant and don't know who the father is, but he is likely my new AP; a few people were fired because they stopped sleeping with me; even though I'm evidently sleeping around, it's not just limited to men; I have a raging meth problem; I'm really a robot (okay...I made that up, but seriously, look at all the other shit!).

8. Although I've pretty much weeded out as many as the dumbass incompetents I can, there are those who seem to be untouchable...for now. I'm pretty sure that they are the idiots spreading the falsehoods listed above in #7. Unluckily for them, I have an infinite capacity to wait and work on them methodically.

9. Thanks to the Tea Party, I'm trying to figure out how to shave off $50K from an already stretched budget. I'm all for spending reform, but I can't really guarantee anyone can learn anything in a class of 45. All you rich fuckers need to pay more taxes already...otherwise your offspring will be even dumber than they already are. Additionally, how about the oil companies quit lying to us and kick in some money to the schools?

10. I'm seriously considering quitting my job and become a squatter at the Governor's Mansion.

Despite all of the above, I'm still working like a crazy person and sleeping only when necessary. My boss demands it.

How y'all doin'?