Today is Ash Wednesday, which means for Catholics and other Orthodox religions begins the Season of Lent. (No, Dyckerson, L-E-N-T not l-i-n-t! Pay attention, man!) What is Lent, you ask? Well, Lent is a forty-day period before Easter. It begins on Ash Wednesday. We skip Sundays when we count the forty days, because Sundays commemorate the Resurrection. Lent begins on February 6, 2008 and ends on March 22, 2008, which is the day before Easter. Lent means I have to give up sinful activities until Easter. Moi? Sinful activities? Sometimes I just don't understand my religion of choice!
So I had to visit Father Liam this evening to receive my cross of ashes on my forehead. Technically, I'm not supposed to wash it off until sunrise, but I had to take a bath, right? So in receiving the blessing and talking with my beloved Father Liam, I asked him a few questions for clarification:
SB: Father, are you sure I can't wash this off until the morning? I mean, I didn't stop at home to wash my face before coming here, so what about my makeup?
FL: The cross of ashes represents visibly your reverance of your relationship with Jesus. It is not a sin to wash it off.
SB: Great! Thanks! But Father, what should I give up for Lent?
FL: Perhaps you should pray to Him and seek guidance on that.
SB: So God will tell me what I have to sacrifice for 40 days? Couldn't you just help me out? I mean, aren't you my spiritual guide on Earth?
FL: It is not for me to choose your sacrifice. Would you like to sit for confession?
SB: Umm, that might take a while, Father. I've had a rough couple of weeks at Mayberry.
FL: As you wish. Just remember that your sacrifice should be meaningful.
SB: I KNOW that, Father! I just think there should be some kind of example list to help people out who are struggling, you know?
FL: You always amuse me, SB. I know that you know what this Season of Lent will mean to you. (This was said with a raised left eyebrow)
SB: You're right, Father! I'm just givin' you a hard time. Hehehe.
FL: So I'll see you next week for confession then?
SB: It's a date! (wink wink)
So readers, this Season of Lent, I've decided to give up...wait, I'm NOT telling you guys that! Just know that I'll be sacrificing some sinful activity and continue to pray for me.
*Okay, I've decided I definitely should give up flirting with my priest too. I'm thinking this might be a good idea. It's only 40 days, right?
Liam was certainly no help as usual! Exactly what does he do there, anyway?? Although I guess listening to your confessions must be a full-time job...
ReplyDeleteI was contemplating this very thing this evening...got the post in my head...I will try to get in pixels soon.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I say to Lent? Bah-humbug.
ReplyDeleteI'm a recovering Catholic. Several years ago, my mother continued her never-ending quest to get me to rejoin the church. She asked me what I was giving up for Lent.
ReplyDeleteI told her, "Catholicism."
She was NOT amused.
Okay, I'm totally laughing at IMA now, but I know I had a comment for you.
ReplyDeleteFather Liam seems really cool btw, do you REALLY ask those questions? Cuz that would be so funny asking for a handbook, the guy's gotta laugh. :P
"...Lent is a forty-day period before Easter."
ReplyDeleteYour period lasts 40 days when you're Catholic?! What about the men? Do they get hemorrhoids instead? Geez, why would anyone do that willingly?
Dyckie-I could think of a good use for him...
ReplyDeleteMuse-We Catholics, we contemplate...
Krissie-Thanks for sharing your sunshine! ;)
Ima-Did you need an intervention? So you've been in recovery how long? ;)
Hor-Of course I ask him those questions! He's my spiritual guide, isn't he? I mean, if I have questions, I should ask, right?
EA-Nice one, EA, nice one... *slow clap*
That's me: always thinking outside the box. Of course I can think INSIDE the "box" too, but that's a whole different process. heh
ReplyDeleteI'm giving up masturbating in the confessional while pretending I'm Father Liam listening to your confessions. I figure if you do plan on taking Lent seriously this time, the confessions won't be as juicy anyhoo.
ReplyDeleteThe question is, can your priest give YOU up?
ReplyDeleteI'll pray for him.
Can't you just wash your face in that sink by the front door of the church?
ReplyDeleteFlirting with the priest does seem kind of cruel. Maybe you should give that up beyond lent too.
ReplyDeleteI have a roommate giving up masterbation. He's like a week in and the apartment has never been so clean!
Holy Crap...no pun intended...its lent again already? Wait...its actually almost a week into Lent...why am I always the last to know these things?
ReplyDeleteI love the relationship you have with father Liam, It makes me wonder if he exists. I sooo want him to exist. It's hard for me to see you as such a "devout" catholic. Granted, I don't know you, but I feel I do. I was thinking the other day about what I should give up for lent... First I thought, I'm already perfect... why give anything up. I think most of the time it ends up being trivial and inconsequential so I just skip lent, yeah I know Father Liam wouldn't like that but does it really matter if I do something stupid like giving up chocolate for 40 days.
ReplyDeleteEff Av-Just had to sneak in a lil sexual innuendo, eh? ;)
ReplyDeletePugsley-Hey! If that's really you in there, you better clean that up! Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know...
LBB-I cam tell that he is amused by my irreverence...however I cannot stop myself! Perhaps he does truly need your prayers more than I...
JT-I think that's some kind of special sink...
Dr. Ken-I think he's used to it, so where's the harm? And about your roommate: ewww but good for you! ;)
David-Maybe you need a special calendar??
Rob-Father Liam most certainly does exist! And I think "devout" might be stretching it a bit...but hey! Are you making some sort of judgment on me now as well? Who do you think you are, Father Liam?? ;)
A special calender? How special?
ReplyDeleteDuh, have you met me? heh.
ReplyDeleteWait. No, no you haven't. Well I promise that if you did, you wouldn't even have to ask that question. heh
I gave up Jack Daniels. Shheeeesh.
ReplyDelete