Listen up, people! Newsflash: I am a perky and happy morning person. I bounce out of bed at 4am each morning to get my workout on, hit the shower, and get myself beautified for work. I don't complain about your bitchy non-morning person asses, so don't shit on my sunshine day with your bad attitudes. Here are the comments I received this morning upon arriving at work:
Big C (colleague):What's up with you? You seem extra perky this morning. What the hell is wrong with you?
SB:I am normally perky, aren't I?
Big C-:Well yes, but you are extra annoying this morning just bouncing in here that way.
SB:Thanks! Have a good one! (exit her office)
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SB:Good morning, Head Cheese (boss)! Have a good weekend?
HC:I'm a bit tired. I spent the whole of the weekend working on..blah..blah..blah...project for my daughter and her lab group for Physics. What's up with you? You seem extra perky this morning! What's that about?
SB:Had a productive weekend, HC.
HC:Well okay then. You might want to stay away from Big C, she'll be annoyed more than usual with your morning self.
SB:Thanks! Have a good one! (exit his office)
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Secretary 1:What are you on this morning that you are so annoyingly happy and perky (that word again) on a Monday?
SB:I'm high on life, S1, high on life! lol How are you this fine morning?
S1:Get away from me.
SB:Thanks! Have a good one! (walk away from her)
***************************************************************************************Ditzy Brunette:Someone seriously needs to give you some downers. I can't take all this pep and smile in the morning.
SB:Thanks! Have a good one! (walk away from her)
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Okay, so you can see why I returned to my office a bit deflated but not too much so. So then I hear Coach Pappy walking in (he's a loud talker but one of my favorite people):
CP:Glad you could make it! How's it going this morning?
SB:I'm fabulous, CP! How was your weekend?
CP:Well, I did a little deer hunting, but I didn't get me anything.
SB:Good! Leave the woodland creatures alone!
CP:You sure have a shine about you this morning...more so than last week!
SB:Thanks! I'm looking for it to be a good week! Plus, it's countdown until my trip to the Rockies, so I'm excited!
CP:Damn! You better tone it down, Blondie...it's Monday!
SB: Thanks! Have a good one! (he exits office)
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What the fuck? Is it a crime to be a positive person? I was a bit tired last week, but it was a busy fucking week! Why do people feel the need to shit on my good humor? It's not like I'm some raging bitch all the time anyway. It just seemed today that I was "extra annoying" with my sunny disposition. Whatever! Since when did it become a crime to wish people a good morning? Luckily, the day picked up! No less than 8 people said these exact words to me:
"Girl! You are getting so skinny! What are doing?"
That trumped all the stupid shitbags that had some negative opinion of my "perkiness". Fuck all y'all! I've lost 30lbs since May (and none of it from my boobs!)!
See what a positive attitude can get you?
**I'm not really what you would call skinny and will most likely never be what is considered skinny, but hey, I can dream, right? I'll settle for "built like a brick shithouse" if I can get it. It beats the alternative of, "Girl! Your ass is getting HUGE! What the hell are you eating?"
See? I look for the positives in life.
Come here and let DJ comfort you. I think I can handle all that "perky" if you can handle mine. :P
ReplyDeleteDarryl! Stop that! It's creepy! And I'm NOT calling you...stop emailing me, you perv! See you in 2009.
ReplyDeleteMy, aren't you the perky little vixen?? Sounds to me like someone has been cyberseduced by a certain handsome monkey clown who shall remain nameless...
ReplyDeleteOh man, I can't take this post this early on a Tuesday morning.Too. Much. Perkiness. Can I please have my coffee first?
ReplyDeleteHave a good one! ;)
Now Dyckiepoo, isn't that going a lil too far? ;)
ReplyDeleteKrissie-Everyday I wake up is a good day! Beats the alternative, wouldn't you say? ;)
Sassy - Stick to it happy gal!! :) My boss kind of hates that I'm "ALWAYS" happy and upbeat. No, it's not ALWAYS but dang it I'd rather look for the silver lining (in fact my favorite time to look for it is when everything has gone to hell!) and stay optomistic.
ReplyDeleteShe's Ms. Pessimistic USA and just doens't get it.
Ah well maybe someday her sun will come out.
But in the mean time let's stay happy and perky dag gummit! Mmmm I like the thought of myself being "perky" ;) and damn it a good bra can accomplish that any day!
^ I was hoping you'd spread something else for me, baby! ;)
ReplyDeleteWhy Dyckiepoo, whatever do you mean?
ReplyDeleteI dated a girl once who woke up and was instantly fired up. I called her "the microwave" for that reason, after ex-Piston Vinny Johnson. Vinny would come off the bench and make an immediate impact, and this chick, in a similar fashion, would jump out of bed like a rabid jack-rabbit. I like chicks like that are perky, because they off-set my depressed, brooding nature. Don't listen to those a-holes, and keep being your perky self. And keep dropping those pounds off everywhere but your boobs.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...
ReplyDeletePerki-ness...
Loss of weight...
General cheery disposition...
If I didn't know better, I'd say someone's been getting her hot beef injections.
Annoying? I'd LOVE to see something like that in my office. We're lucky if we don't have to hear the boss bitch about the mistake he made years ago by moving out to the lake and now everyone's gotten on that bandwagon and now his commute is blah blah blah.... I'd probably wrap my legs around perky and give it a big ole smooch! F'em.
ReplyDeleteAnd 30 pounds since May? Those people are just jealous. F'em, too.
Oh and I am so in luff with that dog of your's! She's adorable.
ReplyDeleteDr. Ken-Are you saying I'm fat?? ;)Surely not! You're good people...I can tell.
ReplyDeleteEA-Sometimes things are what they are...no allusion to other "things". Are we frustrated, dear?
Cruiser-Stupid people in your office! And yes, my Lily is a cutie...of course, there's three more pups here that are equally as adorable. I'll put them up for your enjoyment at some point. Dogs are the best!
More like "anxious," or just plain horny if you like it crass. heh.
ReplyDeleteWhatever drug you are on, I want some!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone who can't fully wake up before 9:30 PM, I always feel guilty when I talk to people like you, because I just can't be as fun/interesting in the daytime.
ReplyDeleteMs P-No drug, just happy!
ReplyDeleteAlan, dear, you should never feel guilty for being yourself. Wait, I didn't mean you were uninteresting...umm...well, you know what I mean! :)
Maybe you need a REproductive weekend with Yours Truly. That should slow you down, or at least bring you back down to Earth.
ReplyDeletePug-That's a bold solution. However, in my current state, I might be too much for you to handle. I mean, you can't even post regularly! ;)
ReplyDeleteSB, I said I would be able to handle you. Now answer my email or I'm ratting you out, my lady!
ReplyDeleteDJ
LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have entered the blogs and read in about a billion years and I have to tell you this was so funny. Here is the deal. I know you are a very positive morning person, I am not, therefore common sense says for a person like me to avoid a person like you until I wake up around 10. Heck even the kiddos know to tread lightly until I have had coffee or a Monster LOL