Well folks, it's been quite a week here in Mayberry. Whew! I'm tired! BUT...I'm required to work the high school Homecoming football game...for free. Yes, that's right. Even though secondary principals and assistant principals get paid more because these extra-curricular activities are part of their regular duties. I did mention I'm elementary, didn't I? Anywho, it's a really L-O-N-G day, where I'm in Mayberry from 7am to 11pm and get home around midnight. All without receiving any extra compensation. Did I mention it's not a choice? Too bad, Sassy. Get with the program and quit your bitchin'. Oh, and your duty is to stand under the bleachers just in case some kids might have fun under there. Yes people, I'm UNDER the bleachers. Got water thrown on me last game....which I know you can tell I think is just the shit! But I do admit to longing to have another mum...those were some fun times...back in the stone age when I was in high school. Damn, now I made myself feel shitty and old. Fuck! Moving on...
So, today during my lunch duties, the new sheriff rolled onto campus...and cornered me. He was nice, as always, but I got asked some pointed questions, particularly about my colleagues. Now, even if I don't like you, you can pretty much bet that I won't throw you under the bus. Nuh-uh. I believe in Karma...and professionalism. Anywho, he basically walked around campus visiting classrooms. Then one of the deputies showed up in the afternoon...asking all kinds of questions. I swear, if I were a paranoid person, the visitors I received today could have pushed me over the edge. As it is, I'm convinced this week that I have created multiple personalities to deal with all the bullshit: "Sybil, can we talk to Sassy now? No! I'M IN CONTROL NOW!!!"
Not really...perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic...or maybe it's PMS. I'm not sure at this point.
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend. It's hit or miss whether my internet will deign to actually work. Right now I'm still at work violating some kind of acceptable use policy, I'm sure.
*A BIG XOXO to Sgt Redline who posted me some flowers. You're a peach!
**AT&T still sucks ass and can kiss mine.
***Still not fired yet.
Who stands under the bleachers to make sure you're not making out with anybody?
ReplyDeleteWhat, are you kiddin' me? You had to work at a lame Homecoming and no one even got you a mum? The very least they could've done was let you man the punch bowl. At least then you might confiscate some everclear!
ReplyDeleteDyck-Well you weren't there, so of course I didn't make out with anybody...
ReplyDeleteCruiser-I KNOW! I didn't even get a cool homecoming mum! :( I didn't have to work the dance, thank goodness! There's a reason I never taught high school...
Oh my god they for REAL made you hang out under the bleachers? I would have insisted on an umbrella.
ReplyDelete(btw I love the mayberry theme, you're so clever!)
What's a Mum?
The great thing about bleachers is that trips to the restroom for #1 become "optional". As such, the umbrella suggestion was a good one.
ReplyDeleteIf the chaperons are under the bleachers than who is watching all the unlocked rooms in the school? That's where you'd find me. It effn dirty under those bleachers.
ReplyDeleteSo you're working for free, but you can blog from work.
ReplyDeleteEven trade.
I'm assuming sub-bleacher romance was actually a big enough problem that they had to put you on watch... what I want to know is, what kind of person goes under the bleachers? Especially in these days of cell phone cameras, you'd think that people would only do it if they WANTED to get noticed. In which case, why go under the bleachers at all?
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ReplyDeleteLindygirl-I feel like it IS Mayberry! lol And you never had a mum (it's a flower silly!) with all the streamers and decorations on it for homecoming? Is it just a Southern thing? Anyone?
ReplyDeletePug-To my knowledge, no one has relieved themselves in or below the bleachers...
Redline-We are at the stadium, which is at the edge of the high school grounds. Everything but the fieldhouse is locked up tight. And yes, it's quite nasty down there...
LBB-I'm not supposed to blog from work...
ATG-So freaked out by this that you posted it twice? lol Yes, evidently dark and possibly damp places are still a draw to the pimply-faced little shitbags!
For Lindy's benefit: The mum thing (well the ginormous hideous ones) are a Texas thing, mostly. They're so out of hand these days. Little jangly pieces of plastic representing the girl's extracurricular interests (as well as the boy's interests) are attached to the ribbons coming off the flower which go to the floor....sometimes the ribbons even go over the shoulder and down the girl's back. The more crap, the more clout. Ick.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll bet those ribbon things get awfully nasty from rolling around under the bleachers. Just sayin.
You remind me why I left the teaching profession. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, when I was in charge of checking under the bleachers, a girl had gotten stuck - I guess she didn't allow for boob clearance.
The boy she was with had ditched her.
Cruiser-You're a mum-hater? That makes me sad...;o)
ReplyDeletePhoenix-Her boob got stuck? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Who knew under the bleachers was so popular? Guess I was just a good girl in school...