Wednesday, July 11, 2007

*I Heart Doo Doo

Perhaps some of you saw the picture at The Boss' post regarding an interesting business in the Baltimore area. I really thought he was pulling a fast one on us loyal readers, so I called the number in the picture...twice...from my cell in Texas. This morning, however, that came back to haunt me. At the butt crack of dawn, my cell phone rang. Since I've been having trouble sleeping, I didn't fall asleep until 4am, and my phone is ringing at 6:30am? WTF? So here is the conversation that ensued (verbatim people):

Me: What?!

Him: Uh, hello? May I ask who is speaking?

Me: No, I'm too tired to tell you. Perhaps you can tell me who you are looking for, and we'll bring this conversation to an end.

Him: Uh, well. I wasn't sure about this number, but I do waterproofing and saw that you had called but I couldn't remember if we had gone over an estimate. We can do that over the phone if you want.

Me: Is that you, Doo Doo Brown?

Him: Yes! I am with Doo Doo Brown Waterproofing. (I'm flabbergasted and sit straight up in bed)

Me: Holy shit!
Him: Excuse me?
Me: Uh, listen sir. I think I may have just dialed your number because I thought it was a scam. I mean, no one can have a business called Doo Doo Brown, right? I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm in Texas and it's now 6:35 am. I'm sorry to waste your time, but I don't have a basement that needs waterproofing, and somehow I don't think I could afford to have you come all the way out here if I did. Thank you though.

Him: Oh. Well. Please pass on my name to friends and neighbors that might need some help with waterproofing.
Me: Doo Doo, you seem like a nice man, but you've woken me TEXAS. I don't think you'll be getting much business here. We got our own Doo Doo Browns out here, but I'm up to discuss franchising if you heart is set on it.
Him: Have a nice day. (Click!)

Yes, friends and foes, it was Doo Doo Brown. And I think he loves me. And I think I like it. (Though I am worried a bit that I might be robbing the cradle with Doo Doo.) Don't mock our love.

*Suggested title brought to you by a much funnier person than I. This one's for you.


  1. I laughed, I cried. I would've done the same thing and called him, surely.

    Good to see he handled himself professinally. Also refreshing to see how respectful you were considering the two of us have very similar sleep patterns at the moment.

  2. I want to be best man at the wedding.

  3. Orhan-I wasn't really polite. I was snide. I have to go to confession this week, or I will go to hell for bothering that poor man.

    TFG-Well, it's only fitting that you are since you are responsible for bringing us together. But you'll have to call and ask him yourself!

  4. Holy god, this made me laugh out loud and shoot diet coke through my nose!

  5. I'll admit that's some pretty racy phone sex right there. I wouldn't mind "waterproofing your basement" myself, if you know what I'm saying. And I think you do.

  6. Man, when did this site become a place to post transcripts of your phone sex talk? I'm blushing, here.

  7. Legaleagle-I bet ole Doo Doo would like that.

    Dyck-As discussed with Doo Doo, I don't have any need for those services at this time, thank you.

    Karla-You? Blushing? Somehow that doesn't seem to ring true. And I'm surprised that Doo Doo hasn't called you about your basement as well.

  8. I think I should call him and tell him about you blog. I'll tell him that he just got one hell of a good advertisement for free.

    What's his number?? Nevermind I'll google it.

    Honestly though he DID call you back that's good cust. service!

    I'm calling.

    (oh my god your response after he asked who you were made me laugh so hard, I can't believe you SAID that! ahahhahahahha)

  9. Lindygirl-I was freakin' tired! I'm very rarely so rude though. Usually when people call and wake me up, they say, "Uh, sorry. Did I wake you up?" and for some unexplicable reason, I always say no. My grandmothers would be proud that I'm such a Miss Manners.

    Hey, when Doo Doo and I get married, you want to be the maid of honor? ;o)

  10. Oh shit! That is so pootastic!

  11. With a name like Doo Doo I'm guessing this guy is Samoan or Fijinese.

  12. Jenny-LOL Isn't it though?

    Ryan-Hmm...I didn't think to ask!

  13. Only if you let me wear a brown dress. Doo Doo wedding in a brown dress? I'll fly anywhere!

  14. Lindy, you can wear a hootchie dress for all I care. Brown is the color, I'd say.

  15. Hey, Lindy. Let's not call him up and tell him about the blogs and say we did.


Ramble on a bit. You know you want to.