It Was the Terrier That Took Me Down

So I get up pretty early, usually around 4 or 4:30am. I like to work out before going to work and since I commute 45 minutes and start work at 7:20, I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. So this morning I got up, did 40 min on the treadmill, two sets on the Ab Lounge (laugh but that shit is working!), and then went through my daily routine to ready myself for work. As I was heading downstairs to get my purse and head to the car, my four dogs raced down the stairs in a formation which I can only describe as "the wall". The puppy got tangled in my legs, and so I took flight and tumble down the stairs. As my face smacked the wall, blood came gushing out of my mouth! Not one to panic, I got up and ran back upstairs for a wash cloth to put in there. I wasn't sure at first if I had cracked my lip or lost some teeth! I decided it was my teeth, somewhere in the back, and I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. First, I made that emergency call to my dentist (luckily an old friend of the family), and he said he'd meet me at the office. Then I called work where the secretary had a difficult time understanding anything other than, "I fell and hit my teetch and haf t'go to denist. I be late." Then I got in the car and over to the dentist's office. Turns out that the fall split my gums from the teeth furthest back in my mouth, including a pesky wisdom tooth that has a date with the oral surgeon this summer. So, after big needles and some stitches in my mouth, I'm about ready to leave when my dentist says, "Hey, I think you might want to get that hand checked out." I looked at my right hand and the finger next to my pinky was swollen and scary looking. So, I hopped over to a Care Now to see about that (funny that I didn't really notice it because I was overly concerned with my teeth...my true vanity both scares and embarrasses me). I only waited 10 minutes (a medical miracle in itself), and they got me in to see the doctor. They took an x-ray and sure enough, I had a small fracture in the knuckle. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! So they tell me to head over to the nearest hospital to get it casted. I refused and told them to give me some tape or a sports splint so I could go.

No, I'm not overly tough and wasn't trying to prove anything. I just didn't want to take that kind of time when I needed to get to work.

Now, I know I should have probably just done it, but there's more to the story. Every month at work, we have a birthday luncheon for the people on staff that have a birthday that particular month. At the beginning of the year, each team of teachers and staff signed up for a month to provide said luncheon. Well, April is the office staff and administrators' turn. We decided on taco salad, so I had to take home about 4lbs of hamburger meet to cook and season. So, this morning on my way out, I put the crockpot with this meat in my back seat. That crockpot of meat would feed one of the three lunch periods we have at my school. Now, if I didn't show up, one lunch would not have the meat for taco salads. That damn meat was taunting me from the back seat. I was unable to think of anything else but that meat and how I would be the office hag if I didn't show with it in time. So after much argument and an extracted promise to go get it casted if it worsened over the weekend, I left for work with the injury in a nice little sports splint. It was 9:30 by this time, and the luncheon started at 10:45. So, I hit the road (still a bit drooly from my dental work) and luckily made it there. By God, the teachers were getting their taco meat, or I would die trying to get it there! (Did I mention I was a bit obsessive about this taco meat?)

All day long, people kindly asked as to what happened to me since I had a swollen jaw, was drooling a bit, and had a finger splint. One person asked me if I was hungover, and one kid asked me if he could "touch it" (referring to my finger). Odd. Anywho, after telling the embarrassing story several times, I finally just shortened it to me tripping over my dogs. Thus, it was the terrier that took me down. (Say hello to my lil Cricket. Isn't she cute? She's a bit older now, but this was the only pic I had on my laptop.)

PS-My colleague finds the ridiculous things that happen in my life to be quite entertaining and continues to tell me to write a book. However, if I told her all the stupid shit that happens, she'd think I was making it up.