So as I'm sure you have surmised by now (and if not for the fact that I've said as much already!!), I've been extremely busy in Mayberry. Because I am currently the only AP, I'm doing the job of 2 people on a campus with 800 kids. Then, the Alliance (which is my new moniker for upper admin) went and moved our lady counselor to another school that is "in crisis", leaving us even more so short-handed. So I'm now splitting counselor duties (did I mention that I'm nowhere near being qualified as a school counselor?) with Big C. And I'm failing at all three jobs miserably. There just isn't enough time in the day to deal with all of my work, and it's getting to me. Not because I now have 3 months worth of important paperwork backed up. Not because I'm over scheduled with meetings and other campus duties. Not because I've fallen behind in my teacher appraisals, which should have been completed in February. Not even because I can't seem to do anything that pleases my teachers. What's really getting to me is that I'm failing my kids. (And by "my kids", I'm referring to the students on campus since everyone knows I'm a childless spinster.)
Monday, March 10, 2008
I'm A Failure (At Least Right Now)
I'm behind in discipline. I've been unable to meet with my at-risk student mentees regularly. Matter of fact, I saw one for the first time in 2 months today, only to notice that he's literally walking out of his shoes because the family is so poor, he doesn't have any others. This sent me over the edge. So I left the building and cried all the way to Wal-mart to buy the poor boy some decent shoes. Then I cried all the way back. Several students came in today asking why I didn't want to see them. The lump in my throat almost choked me. I tried as best I could to explain that it wasn't that I didn't WANT to see them, but that I had not had sufficient time. Who tells a bunch of little kids that they don't have the time to care? I hate not being on top of the things that matter most.
As we approach Spring Break, I have another week with a ridiculous schedule. And I'm even going to work over Spring Break to catch up on the mountains of paperwork that must be entered into the computer. My only hope is that I can somehow do something right this week that will make a positive difference to someone on campus.
No, I'm really not whining. I'm a realist and understand that this is just temporary until the new guy comes on board with us in April. I just don't like feeling like such a failure, when only I know how fucking hard I've been working.
*Sorry that Debbie Downer got a hold of my blog post. I hope everyone is well, and I'll stop in and read y'all when I can!
**I promise a post detailing ridiculous stories from my misspent youth very soon.
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Just curious, but what kind of teacher to student ratio and teacher to administrator ratio are you dealing with?
ReplyDeleteOne of the big complaints around here are that there are too many layers of administration and not enough teachers.
You bought the kid shoes from Walmart??! You should've just chopped his feet off with an ax. It would have been much kinder.
ReplyDeleteJeff-We have decent class sizes, about 22:1..and the campus is supposed to have 2 APs and 1 Principal plus 2 counselors.
ReplyDeleteI don't see us having that layering problem...
Dyckie-That's it! I'm punching you in the crotch! It's OVER!
Hang in there, Sassy. Nice work on the Goodbye to Romance by Ozzy on the playlist!
ReplyDeleteSB
ReplyDeleteMy hats off to you. Remember, people say the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. . . Oh wait sorry I got carried away there for a minute. Really, hang in there. Things will work out in the end. It sounds like your doing the best job you can under some pretty adverse conditions.
Jake
Dr. Ken-The Ozzman cometh, baby!
ReplyDeleteJT-Thanks...
I was reading your post below about nutty buddies.
ReplyDeleteYou know, if you actually encouraged that, you'd have time to do your paper work.
The students you have to see would be too busy writhing in pain on the floor, allowing you to get caught up.
'Just sayin.
Nice to know I'm not the only one...
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Shamus
I read you and people wonder why folks like you burnout in that profession? Pretty amazing to me you actually stick around for it, day after day.
ReplyDeleteYour not a downer Sassy... I enjoyed reading this post. I think you have a good heart and I'm sure your kids know that too. Hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteIn the future I think we can look for more shortages in your mid management area. As the lure of life outside the school system calls us with promises of a better life, fewer hours, less complaints in the box, and better benefits schools will suffer from a lack of qualified and willing APs, couselors, Ps, and Graduation Retreival Teachers.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is hang on to what you love. I can't imagine my work days without kids in them. But even in my case...I'm investigating my new career options post school system.
Mike-I can't encourage such violence in young boys...but hey, it's a good idea!
ReplyDeleteShamus-OMG!! YOU'RE ALIVE!! Here's hoping you and I both get a more positive near future...XOXO
Lifer-It's the kids...that's my only explanation!
Patti-XOXO Thank you!
Muse-Sister, I know you understand. I'm looking for a new job myself in a different type of school, in a different type of town. Much luck to you!
I do dearly hope thinkgs get back to normal for you real soon. Sounds like it is taking a real toll on you and that is never good.
ReplyDeleteIf you come over and discipline me, I will consider you all caught up.
ReplyDelete