It's Got To Be Me

So okay, I've been absent a while. Work has started again, and my days of being lazy and playing on the computer are long gone. Plus, as I mentioned before, I've had some serious home computing issues. Needless to say, they still aren't resolved, but I'm on my way.

I wanted to relay an interesting experience while shopping a couple of weeks ago. I was actually in line at a retail store waiting to return some items. While in line, I felt a tug on my pant leg and looked down at the cutest pair of big brown eyes and curly brown hair attached to a little girl of about 3 yrs old. She was very obviously Hispanic, and so I knelt down and said, "Well hello there!" She then started to babble something in Spanish. I may or may not have mentioned before that I barely speak any Spanish. I had my 2.5 yrs over the course of my education, and so while I can understand quite a bit, speaking it tends to make others look at me as if I have Tourette's or something. Anywho, I said to her, "Hola chica. Como estas?" She brightened immediately, and so I tried looking around for her mother or other relative. As I looked around, she started to cry and reached out her arms to me. Not knowing what else to do, I picked her up and started trying to soothe her, talking quietly in the minimal broken Spanish I know. As the line continued to move, I just moved with it, carrying this child. Right as I was about to step up to the counter, a woman came running up with two policemen, rapidly and hysterically speaking Spanish and pointing at me and the little girl. Naturally, I assumed it was her little girl and so I turned to hand her over. Before I could do so, the woman jerked the child from me, nearly knocking me down and then the two policemen grabbed me by both arms. WTF? So the woman is continuing to speak in machine-gun fire Spanish, and a crowd is starting to form. The security people ask me to step out of line and follow them. I ask them why. They say they need to take this matter to a more private place. A bit dazed and mightily confused, I followed them. When I arrived at the back of the store, we took a left through some double doors and into an office room...where two more police officers were waiting. Then, I start to get a clue. These people must think I was taking off with the lady's kid!! So, I started to laugh, and I said, "Um, you can check my bag. I haven't stuffed any merchandise in there. " (Note to self: Do not joke to police officers about a crime. They do not think it is funny.) One of the officers told me to please sit down rather seriously. I complied. I'm nothing if not a law-abiding citizen. They ask for my ID, which I gave them, and one of the other cops leaves the office with it. Finally, I find my voice again and ask what the hell is going on. One of the remaining police officers tells me to stay calm. I tell him, "Listen, I'm pretty calm, but I have no idea what this is about. Why don't you tell me or arrest me. Either way, I get the information and can make an informed decision on what to do next." He then proceeds to ask me what I was doing with the little girl. I told him my story, let him know he could ask the people behind me if they were still there, and then I could get going. He told me to wait so that he and his partners could check it out. Excuse me? Do I look like a creepy perv or a kidnapper? I came to return some stinking pants for the love of Mike! Of course, I started to babble about working at a school and this and that. The officers just told me to just quiet down. So...45 minutes later, they start apologizing and explaining. Seems the little girl had actually disappeared from her mother's car at a convenience store next door to the department store. They had issued an Amber Alert, and the mother was riding with them when they got a call that a woman at said department store was seen with the missing child. So they rushed over. As they tell me I'm free to go, I stop them. I said, "Wait a minute! How the hell did that baby get over to the Kohl's by herself? I didn't pick her up at the convenience store! She started pulling on my pant leg. Where the hell was her mother?" They look at each other kind of confused. So, I continue,"Shouldn't you be looking at the mother as possibly being neglectful? Did she leave the baby in the car? It's 100 degrees out! What the hell kind of concerned mother does that and then LOSES her 3 yr old 300 yards away? If that child left her car at the convenience store, she walked across a very busy road to get to this store. " One of the now forever known as Keystone Cops answered, "Well ma'am, our first concern was recovering the child. " No shit Sherlock! I reply, "Well, she's recovered, so instead of detaining me, shouldn't you be speaking to the mother now? Are you waiting on an interpreter or something?" One of the officers, a kind of burly guy, more pudgy than muscled, started to turn a bit red in the neck and face. The other said to me, " Ms. SB, I apologize for this inconvenience, but now that we have cleared you, it's really none of your concern." Excuse me, fucker? A small child is left unattended in a car in sweltering heat, gets out of the car and wanders across a dangerous road, and then ends up in a department store where anyone could have grabbed her? And that's not my concern? By now, I had steam coming out of my ears! I replied, "You're right. It's not. I'll give a call to CPS. Maybe they'll care about what is or is not my concern." I then stood up and walked out. It would have been a grand exit if I hadn't forgotten my stupid fucking pants! GRR! So I had to go back in, jerk them off the table, and go back to the customer service desk....with EVERYONE looking at me as if I were some kind of criminal! I quickly returned the pants and left the store. As I was walking out, I saw the mother, holding the little girl, talking to the officers. The little girl turned to look at me as I was leaving. I waved goodbye. She blew me a kiss.

Yes, it's got to be me. I just thank God I didn't have my gun on me, or that could have all gone very differently.