Spanky's Revenge

This cute lil shit must know I found a virtual version of him because he has been quite the Red Menace as of late. The last time he did something really batshit, I posted it here: http://sassyblondie.blogspot.com/2006/01/good-dogs-gone-bad.html

But I think he may have outdone himself this time. I was out most of the afternoon yesterday (God, I love being off work for a full month!!) and only came back briefly to feed the dogs. Because I've been off work, the pups are a bit spoiled having me around the house more. That morning, I had popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave and ate about half of it before leaving it on the table. I gave the pups a kernal or two (it was Kettle Korn) while I was eating it, and so Spanky must have taken a liking to it. Anyway, I came back to feed the dogs and then dashed out the door again. When I returned much later that night, I walked into the biggest mess to date, and that's saying something. First, there was shredded paper EVERYWHERE, along with my two couch throw pillows WITHOUT their stuffing (which was all over the room). It looked like it had snowed in my living room. Then, I walked into the kitchen and noticed that my kitchen towel that hangs on the oven door was shredded. As I walked further into the dining room, the real mess was discovered. One of the chairs had been turned over and the entire contents on top of the table was now on the floor: candle, mail, popcorn, candy (what was left of it all anyways)...and it was all shredded....including a diet Coke can! Now, I have four dogs, but only the youngest two were destructive at all. So I'm yelling and cussing, and generally having a rage attack when I notice that, while Spanky beelined it out the dog door, I had yet to see lil Cricket. I went outside. Still no Cricket. I go upstairs and find her in the bathtub, shut in the master bathroom. WTF? When I left, the door was open! After I cleaned up her mess, I returned downstairs to start there as well. However, as I was descending the last couple of steps, I see that Spanky is back inside, ON TOP OF MY TABLE chewing another bill!! I think I blew a brain gasket somewhere because I freaked out and actually felt a bit dizzy! Cricket ran behind the couch and Spanky just froze on top of the table. I grabbed him and chunked him outside and put the dog door cover on so that he couldn't get back in until I was ready (well duh, how are the others supposed to get out to pee now, genius!). I cleaned up the fluff and paper, even cried a little, I admit it. Then I went and took care of the kitchen. As I made my way to the dining room, I really started to cry (note: I cry when I'm really angry and frustrated). Not only had he destroyed everything in there, he pissed on my chair cushions...ALL of them. Which means he had to hike his leg in four different directions! He also left me a little gem under the table, if you know what I mean. It was a giant "Fuck You, Bitch" to me from my lil red dog, my lil Spankyman! Heartbreaking! After an hour of clean up, putting things in the laundry, and steam cleaning, I felt sufficiently calm enough to check on Spanky outside. As I took off the dog door cover, he poked just his head inside to scout the situation. (I was sitting down on the couch with Cricket. I'm prettty sure he shut her in the bathroom upstairs, folks. She's not strong enough and the other two girls don't hang out upstairs since the vents are closed and it's warmer upstairs during the day.) As he slinks all the way in, he comes over to the couch, sits down at my feet, and just looks at me with his head cocked to the side (much like in the picture above). Of course, crazy chick that I am, I start talking to him, "Why would you tear up Mommy's things? Why would you be that dog?" etc. Of course, he hopped up, started to snuggle up to me, and I fell for it. How do you punish an animal after the fact? I mean, I made him stay outside by himself for a time-out of 1.5 hours. Was that enough? I'm definitely going to consider crating him the next time I'm out for that long this summer. He needs to be reminded of how to go about staying at home without me. He's always been a bit of a quirky dog. All I've read on Min Pins says this is normal behavior....but he's not a puppy. He's 3 almost 4 yrs old for the love of Mike! Now I'm wondering if all the destructive behavior I've been blaming on Cricket was really all her. And my older two: They just can't believe the young'ens haven't been put out for good yet. My Boston Terrier actually gripes at them when I do..it's so funny. She follows me around and "grrrs" at them with me. Anywho, Spanky is in the doghouse for now. As I write this, he's sleeping on his back with his feet in the air on the chaise lounge, as if he had not a care in the world. Fucking lil bastard is so damn cute....shit I'm a big softie! BUT...there will be no "chewies" for him for a week. I can't reward that kind of behavior, right?