Sisters

I had the best talk with my "little" sister today. Every year, I am amazed by her. She got pregnant at 17 and left home under some difficult circumstances. I was in college, and so when she called me back then to tell me she was pregnant, I could hear the apprehension and pleading in her voice. It struck me then how much she valued my opinion and wanted me to be proud of her. When she called that day, she was upset that everyone else was pushing her to get married right away since she was pregnant. So I asked her why she had decided not to do so (no judgement, just a question). Her answer was so mature. This 17 yr old high school dropout told me, "Well, we weren't getting married before I got pregnant, and if we did anyway, it will never last." Amazing, right? She and my brother in-law waited a full year after my niece was born before getting married, and they just celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary. Along the way, she got her GED, had my adorable nephew, and weathered some true hardships in her life. So the call today was centered around a purging email she sent to our mother. Before I continue, suffice it to say that our mother has not been in our lives consistently since my dad got custody back when I was going on 8 yrs old, and she was just an 18-month old toddler. We had a rough childhood, but we both came out of it intact. Recently, my mother has been trying to contact me. The last time she even bothered was about 10 years ago. Anywho, my mother has been emailing my sister on and off this past year. On Saturday, there was an event that I did not attend due to my big test. Her email to my sister was snide in regards to me and my absence, and that it was due to her being present that I chose not to attend. Yes, this is my mother folks...ever the narcissist. It's all about her. My sister said that upon reading such ridiculous tripe (she used a less civilized word), she was incensed. In her words, " Blondie, I just couldn't take anymore! I finally told her what I really thought." So my little sister, my partner in crime, told the woman off. She scolded her about such a juvenile theory on my absence. After quite a few more eloquent words, my sister told my mother that no matter how much whining she did, no matter how many guilt trips she tried to put on other people, no matter how many times she said she loved us, that she could never make it right with her (my sister) until or unless she could make it right with me. My beautiful sister, whom I practically raised, bitch-slapped my mother in an email! I tell you, the things she told me that she said moved me to tears. I never really knew how much I had affected my sister's life and the person she has become, but she told me in just repeating an email she sent to our estranged mother. She told me that in addition to her own children and husband, I was the person she loved the most. I'm tearing up just writing about it. And for the first time in my life, I realized how important it has been to me for her to be proud of me...and she really is! My sister is my best friend, and no matter where I have lived, what I have done, what she has done, we have never failed to talk to one another just about every day. I cherish this relationship above all others because, at the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card, we didn't choose to be sisters, but we certainly chose to be friends. I guess I want to send these thoughts out to everyone who has sisters. My sister turns 30 this year, and a finer person you will never meet. I think she is the absolute bees knees. Cherish the relationship you have with the best girlfriend you can possibly have. Never stop being her conscience, her cheerleader, and her friend. Because in the grand scheme of things, she helps you to be the best you that you can be. Sister, I love you too. Thank you for being my oldest and truest friend.