Thursday, March 23, 2006

What ARE the kids wearing these days?

This is an email conversation between myself and a veteran reading teacher in my building. I have used initials/changed names to protect the anonymity of the parties involved and/or mentioned, but it cracked me up. Now I'm not saying that there isn't an issue here, but the response made me think of a little old lady or group of elderly people standing around at the mall. Then I wondered, am I just getting less tolerant of pre pubescents or am I just getting old? As most may or may not know, school districts have a dress code policy, and students fight this battle more than most (as if tucking in your shirt was the worst thing ever!). At my school, there is no uniform policy (though going with standardized dress K-12 is about to happen), but there are standards to what is appropriate for school. One rule is that shirts must be tucked in, another is no sagging, no obscene language or slogans involving firearms, tobacco, drugs, or sex...etc. You get the idea. Now keep in mind here that my school contains only 5th and 6th graders. They aren't in full-on teenager mode yet. But the girls are developing rapidly and the boys are noticing rapidly, so things of this nature can become an issue.

From ME:

" Hi All,

This is probably an email that should be geared more towards team leaders, so I apologize in advance if it's junking up others' inbox.

APC and I are trying to collect some data on the dress code issues so that we can select a more severe consequence beyond silent lunch for repeat offenders. If you could, please send me information on those students who consistently receive silent lunch due to dress code violations, and how many they have served thus far. We know this is an issue, and we are trying to come up with a policy that makes sense.

Thanks so much!
Sassy Blondie
Assistant Principal"

Her response:

"DM, TB, HS, JD (as of recently), DG (has recently improved). HS should be required to go to the office every morning for approval and come to class with a note. She is rarely appropriately dressed (at least in my opinion).
I've gotten to where I ignore DM (bless his heart ;I sure do like him!) and TB (he gives unpleasant stares).
I've just about given up on this dress code thing. What we are doing is not working. I dread when the time comes that we have school uniforms.

CJ
Reading Teacher"

I do have to tell you that this particular reading teacher is the absolute BEST! She's very calm and even, and walking into her room dissolves all the tension in my shoulders and neck. She's an amazing reading teacher. That's why the email cracked me up, I think....especially the comments in parentheses (my favorite kinds of comments seem to be in parentheses because it's like what's really knocking around in your head). I usually explain to persistent dress code violators about the origins of their inappropriate dress. For instance, we all know that young men everywhere walk like they have cannons for thighs because if they don't, their sagging pants will come completely down, and they'll trip and fall. Not too cool for a G to be clumsy (think Malibu's Most Wanted). But what these young men do not know is that the practice of having sagging pants was started in the prison culture. Once I say that, I do not have to elaborate as to why. With the girls, I explain that while their outfit may be cute, showing that much skin presents a message found at the nearest strip club (believe it or not, one told me her mom was a stripper...I didn't miss a beat and told her that it was all fine and good for her mother, but she couldn't wear her mother's clothes to school because it's not a strip club...and I believe everything has its place in the world). I also work the "do you really want to fight this battle and have people on your case about it every hour of every day you are in school" angle. Frankly, I know it's difficult for young girls to find clothing that doesn't sexualize them. We've evidently decided as a culture that this is acceptable because it seems to get worse every year (as I see each year I pick out clothes for my soon to be 12 yr old niece). I also know that the clothing they make for boys is incredibly oversized and extra long, or the only other choice is to dress like a 55 yr. old semi-retiree with pocket protectors. So what I want to say to this teacher is, I don't know how to make it better for you. I do commiserate, and I do see a need to do something else, but I am still doubtful of any significant change. They are kids, and putting them in our in-school suspension won't do it either. They've taken on this battle and decided that it's important to keep fighting, so we need to decide how important it is in winning the war. Until then, keep reminding them to tuck in their shirts and cover their midriffs... and to say no to crack. It's almost April...9 weeks to go!

3 comments:

  1. If there is any fashion I don't get and I think looks down right STUPID, it's the sagging pants thing. I don't mind laughing at them. Seriously, nothing would make me laugh harder than to see them lose their pants. I don't see how walking with your hand on your pants to keep them up is cool?

    My kids go to a Catholic school and they are sent home with violations all the time. Their socks are too short and show their ankles (whatever) or their is ticking in their collar and the shirts are supposed to be plain. ARGHHHH. I wish they'd try to hit garage sales for four kids and find perfect school uniform clothes. They are WAY to picky. Sigh.

    Good luck with all of it. I must say I LOVE the dress code so I don't get any fights. Course I pay their way so they will not be getting revealing and/or stupid clothes until they pay they are out of college anyhoo. In fashion, sure... but there is a line. I want to be able to stand next to them and not want to hide. :)

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  2. I have a suggestion, one I think may work. Who knows, it would take just a few times.... I don't know if you could enforce it but it may be worth a try.

    What about if someone violates the dress code, there would be a box or a few items in this box that you could go and choose, things kids really would not want to wear. Ugly colours, or something not geared to their age, like a giant teddy bear t-shirt. If you made them change into something that was not appealing to them, they just might stop.

    I know this would make you have to take it home and clean it, but I suspect that if you could have a few things in there that were really unappealing to them it would discourage them from breaking the rules in the first place.

    If you do implement this, make sure that you go around to class rooms and say something like, we have had to go to plan B, because you guys are still breaking the rules.... and from now on anyone breaking dress code will have to change into something like this.... and hold up the hideous other choice.....I suspect they will all be on their best behavior if they want to wear something that appeals to them.

    You might have to do more laundry... but it just may work.

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  3. We do have something like that now, but getting things to fit every body shape and size is always an issue. We also make them call parents to bring something in if it's really outrageous. Mostly, it's little things, and I admit that dress code items like tucking in a shirt are not my top priority. I feel that some people are too focused on it sometimes...oftentimes. Thanks, Shmamber! I'm really disappointed that your application didn't go through on the job. All the help that is needed, and yet they turn down perfectly good people! Jeez!

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Ramble on a bit. You know you want to.